I just wanted you. That’s all. I remember everything.. The way your nose would wrinkle when you’d laugh. The way you would grip the steering wheel when you wanted to race or saw a nice car. The way you would lean towards the steering wheel and pout if someone cut you off or did something you didn’t like. The way you would look at me and say, “You’re so mean!” With a small smile that you are trying to hide. The way you would make little “tsk” noises before you would just out laughing. The way we would play thumb wars unintentionally, and the way your face would light up when you found one of my tickle spots. The way you looked at me in the rain and smiled like nothing else mattered. The way you rubbed my back while I cried and ate my feelings. The way we wouldn’t pay attention to movies at all, unless it was that stupid cop show that made us cry. The way when we fought, I would change that. Because you looked so damn cute when you were mad, your eyes big and throwing your hands up in the air. The way you picked me up after I got home from San Diego. The way we got lost finding the mall on our first date. The way Big Cat hated me and leaked on me when it rained. The way I cried when I thought you got hurt, I was so worried. The way you’d grab my face and squish my cheeks and make me say, “I’m a guppy, and guppies don’t smile.” And laugh when I would smile. The way you wanted to carry me around all the time, and I was too stubborn to let you. And when I cut myself on the knife, I blamed it on you and you always gave me a weird look and said, “NU UH!” And from then on kept it away from me. You were always so gentle and cute, but always reminded me that you were stronger and then would make it so I couldn’t move in your bear hugs while you gave me dinosaur hugs and kisses..
I wouldn’t change a thing.